A new year already?

It's crazy that 365 days goes by so quickly
It drives me crazy when I realize that each day I'm getting one day closer to... death
Such a grim outlook yea? Sure... but I mean, it's truth... kind of
When I think about this past year... it's filled with memories... good and bad i suppose
But memories none the less.

When i think of 2010, i think about the theme of this past year: Changed lives
I look at older brothers and see their lives changing in the blink of an eye
One of them had a child, one of them got married!
Some people found direction in their life (seminary and grad school)
Some people found new jobs, new soul-mates, and/or new mates
Some people even dropped everything and traveled the world
So many folks had life-altering changes occur in their life in 2010

I feel like the older we get these types of occurrences will be more frequent and if we don't sit back and celebrate them, it'll be gone before we know it
To really celebrate and find joy in the amazing things that are handed to us, is to give thanks to the one who provides such gifts
Receiving a gift of any kind is a thousand times better when you are grateful and realize you don't deserve such an amazing gift as opposed to receiving a gift that you felt that you deserved, or earned

Isn't that how we're supposed to live this life?
Grateful?
Thankful?
Nothing in life is guaranteed... except for one thing... death (sorry, i promise i'm not crazy or emo)
Life in itself is a gift, to say that your life sucks and being ungrateful is selling yourself short of being able to use that gift and having the best time possible
I'm sure many people have a lot to be ungrateful about.. I feel you.. 2010 was not the greatest year for me
As everyone else's life was changing.. mine was staying the same
I had one of the most crushing moments of my life the past month..
It would have changed my life.. i truly believe it.. if anything, it would have given me direction..
When i got news of rejection.. it made me mad..like i deserved that position...
So I sat and stewed about it for about 3 days.. just sulked and became frustrated at life.. at God.. at everything...
I finally got over it... I'm not gonna sit here and say that it was some life-altering "God moment" where His voice just boomed over me.... honestly, i think it was just time to get over it
But these days i'm just constantly reminded of the promises that God has for me
The theme that I came up for my senior kids bible study was Jeremiah 29:11-14

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

For me, more than anything else from these verses, the word that gives me purpose is the word HOPE
Man, seriously, the solution to all our problems
At least that's what I think
To truly believe that a better day will come, at this point, is all I have
Whether today was a good day or a bad day, to live with HOPE is what keeps me going
That tomorrow has a chance to be better than today
Even if your day was awesome.. He has bigger and better plans ahead!
That's what we should all be anticipating

We could all use a win once in awhile
To those who can't see a better day.. to those who refuse to even think better days are possible..
Just try giving hope a shot
What have we got to lose?
More disappointment?
More sadness and anger?
Sure, but isn't that what hope is all about?
This past year, I've experience almost nothing but loss...
Believing that in spite of all these losses... that a win is coming?
It's like being a Redskins fan (keep your comments to yourselves please... haha)
We lose... a lot.... like... A LOTTTT
But what happens?

And all of sudden we're Super Bowl contenders!

And then we lose again.....
and again....
and yet...again....

But behold... hope again!

(Jim Zorn)

6 and 0! woo hoo

and then we lose...
again....
and again....

I could obviously go on and on here (Haynesworth, McNabb, Shanahan, Bruce Allen....etc....)
But yet... we still believe we're just one break away...
I think there was a quote out there that defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result....
Sorry.. that's besides the point... haha
What I'm trying to say is... Hope, to me, is believing that a better day is coming... that an Andrew Luck is headed our way to save the day.... obviously my hope is not in man.. but in the One who can truly bring about my reason for Hope!

Well that's what's been on my mind lately

There are many luxuries to being unemployed..
Including being the one that gets to do slave work for people because they know you probably have nothing better to do....which is true 99% of the time
If you have some money... you have time to go and get awesome food from awesome places
You also have a lot of time to knit, learn a new language, meet new people
I have done absolutely none of those things

I do have a lot of time to just sit...
I watch a lot of TV...
And that was before I stopped working so... imagine now.... hahah

Other than that... there really are no luxuries....
I was only working long enough to pay off a lot of my credit card bills and school loans... i think the only thing i was really able to buy was my MBP and my glasses.... other than that.. I'm just simply trying to survive...
I really am blessed to have a family that supports me through all this....truly... the bright light in the midst of all the gloominess that has been surrounding me...

Woo hoo

The Heart of Life- John Mayer
The best song I've heard in a long time...